As a boudoir photographer, I get to work with a lot of brides! And because I recently was a bride myself, I now have a better understanding of all that they are going through.

A lot…they are going through a lot!!!

I often get asked if I had a friend photograph our wedding or if I found it difficult to hire a photographer. So, I thought I would answer that in print. No. I did not have a friend photograph our wedding nor do I ever think that is a good idea. I had some of the most amazing photographer friends at my wedding, including Jaclyn Lombardo out of Newport, RI and Ming Han Chung out of Atlanta, GA but I still hired a professional wedding photographer. Here are two of the biggest reasons why:

1] My friends are my friends. I wanted them to enjoy my wedding as guests and not feel obligated to work by taking thousands of photographs, leaving their own spouses to fend for themselves. They were more than welcome to take photos if they wanted to [because I knew they would know how to do it without getting in the way of the hired professionals], but it was certainly not required or expected.

2] To date, my wedding day has been the most important day of my life. I wanted to hold someone accountable and make sure that we had the entire day captured beautifully. Without a contract and money exchanged, there really is no guarantee of that. After all, once the music ended, the wine finished and in our case, the cops had left (I think I’ll leave that for another blog posting), the photographs are the only thing you have. And when it’s time to reminisce with the grand-kids, you don’t go pull your wedding dress out and tell stories, you pull out your wedding album so they can see the stories for themselves. Hiring a photographer made sure that we would have the most perfect story to share.

I should stop right there.

Hiring the right photographer made sure that we would have the most perfect story to share. So what were some of the things that went through my head as a photographer hiring another photographer? There were only three…

BUDGET.

I’ll just get that out of the way because it’s probably top of your mind too. When planning our day, we decided what 2 or 3 things were really of utmost importance to us and we put our money there. I think it goes without saying that the photographs were top of that list. Because I had been in the wedding industry myself, I have a pretty good idea of what things cost [if you don’t, do your research] but I still had to be respectful of what our budget was.

Decide ahead of time what you want. Do you want an album? Wall portraits? Digital files? All of the above? Great! Consider what you can afford right now. If the two don’t match [what you want and what you can afford], is there another way? Can you hire your dream photographer for the coverage only and purchase the album after the wedding [once you’ve caught up from paying your other vendors or have some wedding money in your pocket]? By deciding ahead of time what’s important to you, it’s easier to keep things straight when you start to get overwhelmed.

And if it really is important to you, figure it out and make it work. You won’t regret it!!

STYLE.

Because I’m a photographer it might have been easier for me to decide who to book. Or made it really difficult!! But here’s how I shopped for a photographer that might be a little different from non-photographers. I looked for, CONSISTENCY. I think as a bride it’s fairly easy to find the style of photography you like. You don’t even need a name for it [photo journalistic, documentary, modern, fashion etc.] you’ll just enjoy the photographs. Once you’ve narrowed down your style, start to look for consistency.  Throughout your wedding day, the light is ALWAYS changing. If your photographer can show you consistency in a variety of locations, a variety of venues and a variety of times of day, he/she knows what the hell they are doing!

Wedding days come in many shades and sizes. If I came across an image I didn’t like, I just asked myself…”Self, do you not like this photo because it’s a bad photograph? Or do you not like that there are tons of children in the photo, do you not like the location choice or do you not like the shoes?” Similarly, if I came across a photo that I loved…did I love the photo? Or is the bride really pretty and her dress is amazing?!

Don’t just look at your photographer’s style, consider your own style. Because you are styling your wedding, will be your wedding. It will have you written all over it [you don’t have to worry about that]. But your style doesn’t have to agree with another bride’s style for you to decide if you like a photographer’s work or not.

If you’re shopping for a photographer, make sure you’re shopping for a photographer.

PERSONALITY.

Last but not least, personality.

When I met my wedding photographer, I sure as hell wasn’t looking for a wedding photographer! My husband and I dated long distance for the first 10 months and as time went on, either he was going to have to move to Boston or I was going to have to be spending a lot more time in VA. So I decided to go to a bridal show to check out the local market as I started to consider marketing myself there. My hubby did end up moving to Boson [thank God] but I actually met my photographer the day of the bridal show [a whopping 2 years before my wedding]. I introduced myself to many vendors as I walked around and did my research about the bridal market in that area. I let them know that I didn’t photograph weddings but specialized in boudoir and that I was looking to network with some other local vendors. It’s funny how many of them weren’t very polite and didn’t want to give me the time of day because I wasn’t a bride. [I wasn’t even engaged at the time]. But not Melissa. Melissa not only went out of her way to get to say hi and actually chat a bit, but then continued to hunt down the editor of a local bridal magazine and initiated an introduction. There was absolutely nothing in it for her at the time. It’s not why I  booked Melissa but when I did a Google search of local photographers and her site came up, I remembered her instantly. I liked her work but I also knew I had already liked her as a person. Working with someone you get along with is super important! You are working with them for well over a year [before, during and after the wedding day], and they are with you on the most emotionally charged day of your life. If I know anything from working with professional models, it’s that being comfortable in front of the camera is one of the most important factors. You want to hire someone you’re comfortable with if you want good pictures.

[Note to professionals….Be kind, you never know where your next client will come from!]

So to quickly wrap this up…

1.] Figure out what it is you want, how much it will cost you to get it and be honest with yourself about what you can really afford. 2.] Narrow your search down to only 2 or 3 of your favorites who show consistency in their work. 3.] Then meet with them in person!

It’s just that easy.

Who did we hire?! The drum roll please…..Melissa Arleana!
Click HERE for a peak at our wedding album!
If you’re a Virginia bride, we also loved Tamara Riley of No Ordinary Ordained and Kristin Kirkpatrick of Fat Girl Cakes.

HAPPY PLANNING 🙂

Have you ever tried to copy a pose from a magazine? And, you looked nothing like the model?

What if I told you that sometimes, I pose my clients completely opposite of professional models, so that they look like professional models. Before I start to explain, I want to state that because every pose has various elements to it, it can get quite overwhelming. I’ve invested years and years in learning this stuff so I don’t expect you to get it overnight. Which is why today I’m breaking it down to just one thing, your weight.

Here’s the golden rule: Whatever is closest to the camera lens, looks the largest. This is particularly true when using certain types of lenses. And yes, your point and shoot or camera phone would be one of those lenses. So, when you push your weight forward [toward the camera], you’ll look larger than when you push your weight back [away from the camera].

You might think. Perfect, I’ll just always push my weight away from the camera. Done. However, models tend to push their weight toward the camera.
So when you copy them, you’re doing exactly what you shouldn’t do.

Why do they push their weight forward you ask?

Well, we don’t call them “walking clothes hangers” for nothing. Models typically are very thin. They actually need to create shape where there is no shape [irritating, I know]. So it makes total sense for them to push their weight forward. If you’re like me [and most women in America] we have curves!! And although our men [or women] love our curves, we need to know what to do with them on camera or we end up looking like one large curve. No one wants that.

To help demonstrate this concept, I’ve attached two pictures below. One is a professional Victoria’s Secret model and one is a client of mine. They are not the same pose but I want you to look at the curve of their hips and where the weight is on each of these women.

The model is putting all of her weight on the leg that’s closest to the camera [she’s bending the leg that’s farthest away], essentially pushing her weight forward. Our client is putting of her weight on the leg that’s farthest from the camera [she’s bending the leg that’s closest], essentially pushing her weight back.

Both women look amazing but they are posed completely opposite from one another.

So don’t feel bad about yourself the next time you try to copy a pose you like and don’t end up looking all that great. It’s not your fault, you just don’t understand yet how this all works yet. If you want to learn more about posing, CLICK HERE to check out our posing video. If you prefer to let me pose you, shoot us an email to work with me directly.

Boudoir is the ultimate in intimate gift giving. So it makes perfect sense that brides are having designer boudoir albums made to give their fiance’s on their wedding day.

Traditionally, grooms gifts are given on the morning of the wedding day. But when it comes to your intimate images, there are some logistics to consider. Like, how will you get the album to him without your dad or ring bearer getting a peak? Below are three “safe” ways to give him the gift he’ll never forget!

A.] THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT

O yes, your boudoir album on your very own personal app is the safest way to get your intimate images in the hands of your man without a drunken, joke-playing groomsman finding and sharing them with anyone and everyone. Imagine the love of your life, just a few hours from becoming your husband, and getting a text from you that contains the password to the NO PEAKING app, that you’ve so sneakily downloaded onto his phone the evening before. Even if he noticed the app, it says “no peaking” and if he is like most men and can’t keep his hands off it, he can’t get into the app without the password anyway. Click HERE to see the app.

B.] MR & MRS

Now that you’ve tied the knot, laughed with friends, cried with family, danced all night, and finished off the last of the champagne…there’s one more thing. It’s wedding night! Giving him the album the night of your wedding is a great way to share in the experience, make sure no one else sees it but still honors that bit of tradition about exchanging gifts the day of.

C.] HONEYMOONERS

Were you too exhausted to give him your album the night of? Did he have too much to drink and manage to shuffle his way to the suite’s kitchen to eat a snickers bar while wearing nothing but his socks? No worries, I’ve saved the best for last!

Give him your boudoir album the night of your honeymoon. This is my personal favorite because you get to see his reaction to the photos, you are both relaxed, refreshed and can enjoy the time together. Slip into one of those super sexy pieces of lingerie you’re wearing in the album, pop some champagne and have it wrapped and waiting on the bed…or even better…under his pillow.

There really is no right or wrong way to give your album to your groom to be but know that you have options and decide what’s going to work best for you!!

“YOU, HERE! STAND RIGHT HERE!”

‘Where?’ I thought.
[There wasn’t enough space to physically fit, never mind see over the hundreds of other photographers in front of me].

“YES, COME. RIGHT HERE!”

[I’m in there somewhere!!]

It was my very first day inside the tents of  New York Fashion Week and I was getting a crash course in runway photography. There were just minutes before the lights went down and the music came up and I was just being thrown into the pit by runway photographer Anton Oparin, whom I had met the night before at an offsite show and had offered me the opportunity to shoot inside the tents. The energy was palpable and I had no idea what I was doing other than that I loved photography and I was getting to shoot at Bryant Park! Fear was not an option. I was left alone to just figure it out. Sink or swim. And as it happened, I was dead center in the middle of the biggest ring of hungry, angry, stressed out, sleep deprived photographers from all over the world. And fresh meat; they could smell it, I’m sure. The new girl Anton had brought in to take up one of their coveted spots. [Sorry guys. I would hate me now too…lol.] But everyone starts somewhere and I did eventually figure it out. Shooting fashion was the first time in a long time that I had felt challenged again. Combine this with my love for all things fashion and it’s the perfect recipe for me being here some 15 seasons later, with my own team of amazing people. Now I’m the hungry, angry, stressed out and sleep deprived one but I love it!  I look forward to being able to shoot fashion for as long as I’m still in love with it!

Throughout the time I spent on those fashion risers, I’ve met some wonderful people. Once such person is Charles Beckwith of modaCYCLE and The American Fashion Podcast [I love listening to this podcast and you should certainly check it out the next time you’re in the car, on the train or even in the grocery store]. Charles brings to fashion week a very kind, calming and much needed patient personality. So when his team sat down to interview fashion designer Ralph Rucci, I just couldn’t not share it with you!

Enjoy!!

Click HERE to watch an honest and open interview with American fashion designer, Ralph Rucci.

You’ll see me directly under the lowest light (right) waiting for the show to begin.

[Ralph Rucci – Spring 2014 Collection]

[Ralph Rucci – Spring 2014 Collection]

Ever heard all you need is confidence to take great picture? It’s total bullshit! How many of you have felt confident but still didn’t like your pictures?

Exactly.

Do you know that models are some of the most insecure people I’ve ever met? [shhhh, don’t tell anyone….they’re human too]. If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Their entire career is based on rejection and rejection solely on their physical looks. They know exactly what’s “wrong” with them and they’re always aware of it. So how can that be? How can a model be insecure when one of the most important things you need to look great in pictures is confidence?

What models do have, is confidence in how to pose on camera and because of that, they are comfortable being photographed. They know their angles and how to show a product, but as a person they have insecurities with their bodies just like you and me. So that thing you’ve heard about confidence is sexy. That’s probably true in person. But on film, I find that your confidence isn’t really needed. Mine is.

[Huh?!]

Keep reading…

[Megan – Norwell High – Class of 2016]

Since I don’t expect you to learn how to become a model overnight [although that would be nice], what you really need is a photographer who is confident in posing you!

So many of the women I work with are nervous about how to pose and that’s completely natural. But what I want you to know is that when you work with me, whether it’s for a boudoir shoot, a senior portrait, a headshot, maternity…it doesn’t matter… I will pose you, nose to toes! You will never have to worry about how to pose when you step into my studio. You just have to relax, enjoy having your hair and make up done and then trust me. I will teach you industry tricks and tips that work best with your body frame. But the best thing about fashion? The editorial division! If you’re just so totally bad at posing straight to the camera, I’m going to have you move in a way that I know will photograph nicely. Playing with your necklace, playing with your hair, movement, looking away and photographing details are all things I use to create a diverse album but also keep you looking good, no matter how awkward you get! After all…

You don’t pose to look like a model; You look like a model because I pose you!”

Contact us info@shannon-michelle.com now for booking info and find out firsthand how I would pose you!!

Here’s another amazing post from guest blogger Kristine Isberg of L`Ecole Nuit. Click HERE to shop and use coupon code SHANNONMICHELLE at checkout for 15% off your lingerie!

It has always surprised me how many women have told me that they wear padded bras, not for the support or added cleavage, but because they are afraid that their nipples may peak through their clothing. Then one evening at an event I was hosting, two women from France were trying on bras and both chose all lace, non-padded bras. As I complimented them on their selections, we got to talking about why so many women in the US are afraid to wear a non-padded bra. I am of the opinion that this is in large part because of the nipple factor. For some reason, there is this belief that a woman’s nipple should never peak through her clothing in public, but remain hidden out of sight behind a thick layer of padding, as if they don’t exist. We want big boobs, but don’t want big nipples. To complicate the situation, women are told to embrace their curves, while at the same time advocating smooth contours that conceal our natural shapes. Think about it, even our swimwear has padding to ensure the natural form of the nipple is concealed at all times, even when wet!

So here are my top 5 reasons, besides the love of the nipple, for wearing unpadded bras:

[Featured bra created by Black Lace Skin Jewelry]

Comfort 
Soft, sexy and comfortable, unpadded bras are lighter.
Plus, all the support comes from the band.
Underwires help but you don’t need padding to get lift and support.

Natural
Padding just doesn’t look natural and can cause awkward bulkiness.
Who wants to add more bulk?
Plus, men are not fans of padding, they want to see and feel the real thing.

Confidence
Free your ladies from the padding and you’ll be more confident in your body.
Also it’s not good to advertise what you don’t have.
It’s like makeup, at some point it’s going to have to come off!

Health
While there is much debate whether bras are actually good or bad for breasts,
one thing is for certain, breasts should be able to move.
Anything constricted for too long is just not healthy.

Fashion
Except for the entertaining, but not realistic, Victoria Secret fashion show,
most designers incorporate natural shapes in their designs –
on and off the runway.

SHOP L`ECOLE NUIT and use coupon code SHANNONMICHELLE at checkout for 15% off your lingerie!

As a boudoir photographer, I hear a lot of a body image concerns. In fact during consultations, I ask what concerns my clients have with their body. What do they want to show off and what do they want to hide etc. I hear the typical tummy, thighs, booty response; but just recently, I had a client say her least favorite body part was her arms.

I get that.

It might not be the first thing you think of hiding in boudoir since there’s a whole lot more to hide! LOL. But how many of you hate the look of your arms in pictures? How many of you avoid sleeveless shirts for that reason alone?

No worries. This is quick fix.

But first, let’s talk about why posing works. How many of you have accidentally taken a photograph that is either orange or green looking? Are you convinced you’re an orange person? Or do you just know that something went wrong with the picture?

Of course you’re not orange! So why do you look at a picture of yourself and immediately start with the self hate.

“I must really look like that?!”
“I’m so fat!”
“GROSS!”

Did you ever stop to consider that just like color temperature (orange or green photos), there are other factors that go into making an accurate picture of yourself?

Like….lighting, composition, color and of course…posing! Posing is a big part of what goes into creating a great photograph and I’ve learned a lot about posing by working with professional models.

It’s not fair to start judging a photograph of yourself when you don’t yet understand how it all works.

Which brings me back to your fat arms…

Did you know as a general rule, whatever is closest to the camera appears the biggest? This is especially true when you’re using your cell phones or point and shoot cameras! A simple fix for your arms, is to pose with your arms farther away from the camera than the other parts of your body.

[It’s easier than it sounds.]

So, if you are standing with your arms by your side, think about having a very slight bend in your elbows and push your arms back, keeping them just behind your hips. If you have pockets, even better! Put your hands in your pocket (thumb out), bend your elbows and keep them by your side.

Don’t think hands on the hips; think arms behind the hips.

By keeping your arms just slightly behind your hips, your body is now creating dimension that wasn’t originally there. It gives the appearance of depth and you’re no longer on a single plane. Take a look at the models below. Sure they’re skinny, but every single one of them still has their arms behind their hips!

Left: Venexiana | Right: Monique Lhullier

Falguni & Shane Peacock

JMendel

Left: Monique Lhullier | Right: Naeem Khan

Practice this in the mirror, then in a selfie and let us know if it helps!
And if you’re local to the Charleston area, work with me directly!

All photos © Shannon Michelle Photography.

Most people would say their first year of marriage is the hardest. My mom-in-law once told me that the first 5 years are the hardest but that might just be an adjustment for the Tyson men…lol.

“Most people would say their first year of marriage is the hardest.” That’s what one of my past clients told me when we recently caught up and she was asking me how I was doing and how we couldn’t believe that my one year anniversary was just around the corner. She was kind of taken aback when I told her that this first year has been pretty relaxing and overall a really good year. What we didn’t get into in too much detail, was that the year prior was absolute hell.

Because 80% of my boudoir clients are getting married for the first time, I want to share my story in hopes that you will have an amazing first year too!

Quick background: My husband and I met in high school. Although we had mutual friends and knew of each other, we rarely hung out. And looking back, we were definitely not ready for each other at that time. Thirteen years later, we reconnected on Facebook and got together when I was home visiting family. Because he lived in Virgina and I lived in Boston, we dated long distance for 10 month. It was when he moved to Boston that things really got interesting.

You would think that because we talked every day for 10 months and I spent one week a month with him in person, we knew each other very well. WRONG. No matter how well you think you know someone, when you live with them, you learn a whole lot more about him and about yourself. In fact, there were times where I found myself just staring at him thinking, “Who are you?! This is not the person I know. ” And he may have thought the same of me at times.

I will say this. The year prior to our marriage, we were hit with a lot of triggers for stress. Just after our engagement, there was a period of unemployment, we were planning an out of state wedding, my fiance was in a car accident, his mother was diagnosed with cancer…all this within the first 6 months of our 8 month engagement. It was a lot! And then there’s the issue of communication. I think it’s fair to say that most couples have to learn to communicate but it’s especially hard for two super independent and strong willed 30 something people who are really set in their ways. I used to joke and say that “The only one more stubborn than him, is me.” Probably the reason it works but it doesn’t always make it easy. We hadn’t quite learned yet how to communicate with each other and with all that life was throwing at us, it really exposed that issue and brought it to the surface.

I think our first year has been amazing because we did the hard work the year before our marriage. For better or for worse, I walked down that aisle knowing the good, the bad and the ugly parts of my husband. I will be honest with you that at some point, I did not think we would make it. But I’m glad I saw those parts before we were married. I felt like the decision was still mine. I knew his strengths, his weaknesses and I still chose him. I’m not sure I would have felt the same had we married and then I got to see that other side of us. I would have felt tricked, manipulated, gypped. [And if that’s where you are at in your own relationship, I’m sorry. Just know that it would have happened at some point anyway.] But we chose each other long before we chose each other. I’ve always said “he doesn’t feel like a boyfriend to me, he feels like family.” So, we got help. We found a premarital relationship therapist and we worked on our relationship. We worked hard on our relationship. In fact, we continued to meet with our counselor at least once a month for the next year to check in and keep working on our relationship. We know that our behaviors are learned. We also know that to thrive in this marriage, we must unlearn them. We learned at a very young age how to survive and what was necessary then, may be the very thing that gets in the way of a healthy relationship today.

We both work hard to be better partners and to be emotionally healthy so that we can be a support for one another. It’s not always easy. It’s work. Here are some things I’ve learned about my marriage and I hope they will help yours as well!

M – Memories.

Hold on to those “in between” moments. You know the ones; where you are both happy, in love and loving life. Those actually are your “movie moments.” When you’re fighting or feeling discouraged about your relationship, you will need the movie memories to remind you of who you are fighting for.

A – Always say “I love you.”

No one has ever told me they love me more than my husband. He tells me countless times a day and I’ve learned to really appreciate this about him. God forbid anything happen to either of us, we know we will not say “I wish I had said ‘I love you’ more.”

R – Regulate your emotions.

Wow, this is a hard one! The way you fight is another learned behavior from a really young age. Arguments are inevitable. It’s not that you fight, it’s how you fight. One of the most difficult but most empowering things I’ve had to learn to accept is that I can only control myself. The old “never go to bed angry” is advice we won’t be taking. Walking away and setting boundaries mid fight is very difficult for us but it’s better than letting the argument escalate to a place where serious emotional damage is done. Regulating your emotions takes practice and emotional reactions are not logical so there’s no point in trying to logically resolve an issue when emotions are high. Sometimes you need space. Don’t let the issue go unresolved but agree to revisit it when you are both calm.

R – Respect.

Nothing will destroy a relationship like resentment. And nothing creates resentment like disrespect. Respect is a choice. Make sure you are choosing respect at all times in your relationship.

I – I will leave if…

[Let’s make one thing very clear, I don’t believe in ultimatums. This is not about ultimatums; it’s about boundaries.]

A good friend of mine once told me that she and her husband had a list of X, Y and Z things they would not accept in their marriage. It basically says, if one of those things listed is ever done, I have every right to leave you.

I loved this so much that I put this into place in our own marriage!

You see, it’s not intended as a list of threats. It’s a promise of security when things get tough. It’s a promise to him that if things get really difficult between us but that list hasn’t been violated, you can know in your heart that I will stay. And it’s a promise to myself that although things are so bad that I may feel like there is no out, that if shit hits the fan and we are in such a place where we just can’t see straight but the list has not been violated, I stay. I will “put on my big girl panties” [as they say in the south] and I will stay in this relationship and we will work through it to the other side.

A – Always practice patience.

No definition for this one, it just takes practice. Have patience with your husband, yourself and your relationship. While I don’t encourage you to have patience with disrespectful behavior, understand that not all things will be resolved right away. Relationships are complicated. Habits are formed over years and they don’t break overnight. When my husband or I feel down about a disagreement we’ve had, I find it helpful to remember that “It’s ok, we have the rest of our lives to figure this all out.”

G – God.

If nothing else, God is love. While it’s much easier to focus or become fixated on the things we want to change about our husband, focus on the good in him and the love you have for him in your relationship. Love is much quieter than anger, but it is much more powerful. Someone once told me, “you’d be surprised what love can heal.”

E – Empathy.

Saved the best for last. You must have empathy for your spouse. The more you understand him, the more empathy you can have for him. The more empathy you have, the more patience and love you can muster up when you need it the most. I never feel closer or more in love with my husband than when I have practiced empathy. It’s often needed in times of struggle and it’s the one thing that helps me turn toward him when I really want to turn away from him.

Don’t forget the only person you can change, is yourself. Could you use some inspiration? Click HERE.

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This post ended up being much longer than expected but I hope you know you are not alone. Just because our first year of marriage wasn’t a blood-bath doesn’t mean that we haven’t had our year. We just got a jump start on things! And whether you find yourself in the first year of marriage or the first year of your relationship, these challenges are real. They can be extremely difficult and you’ll have to choose love, respect, commitment and empathy regularly. I have no idea what the future brings for us, but what I do know is that we are both willing to work on and fight for our relationship. Remember, the person you are meant to be with will challenge you and push you to grow as a person and that’s not always easy. Thank God that same person is also there to support and love you as well. In celebration of our 1 year anniversary, I welcome you to our wedding vows!

 Coleman & Shannon Tyson . May 30, 2014

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